Saturday, 29 June 2013

BNI Apparently Bad at PVP

Band of Brothers. Pandemic Legion. Brave Newbies Inc. All three of these entities have been regarded as the premier PVPers in Eve at some point during the game's extensive history. However, we've been contacted by a disgruntled BNI member who has revealed that despite what the battle reports and propaganda show, BNI are actually ineffectual at fighting other players.

The inside source claimed that although Brave Newbies and their alliance Brave Collective have an Eve-wide reputation for their skills at PVP, they actually rely on numbers to lose battles. He went on to say that "BNI relies on bravery and carelessness to win fights, they're nowhere near the best small gang PVP organisation in Eve. I don't even know why people think they are." He then went onto link a website called 'evekill', which apparently showed BNI had a poor combat record. However this link appeared to be counterfeit due to this very fact.

When I put this evidence to a member of TEST, they seemed to be quite overwhelmed by the theory. "Anyone who reads Reddit will be able to tell that BNI are the meanest PVP machines out there. Everyday they post a video or report of a battle where they slaughtered their enemies. The very thought of even seeing a member of BNI scares me, which is why I stay twenty jumps away from Rahadalon."

This anonymous TEST member isn't alone in his fear, Brave Newbies are even more respected than Band of Brothers were in their days, and for good reason. For example they managed to completely slaughter hundreds of Firetails that were on Mangala Solaris's Ganked roam. A traumatised survivor of that fight told me "I ain't playing no Eve [sic] with those people around me! They're too good to be allowed in MY game".

At this stage of the investigation it looked like the spy's information was completely false. I tried to get some information from BNI members but they all rejected my convos like mysterious shadows. Since I don't have a 1000:1 kill:loss ratio, I would have no hope of getting into BNI on my own. Therefore the only evidence I could get to support the whistleblower's theory was his link to this 'evekill'. According to their illegitimate looking killboard, the Brave Collective had five times as many losses as kills. Then he sent me an excel spreadsheet (that came attached with information for his Highsec gas planet PI) which apparently 'showed the data in graphical format'.

Whether this man is to be believed or not remains to be seen. His 'killboard' holds little weight against the Reddit promoted legends surrounding the murky routines of BNI. Rumour has it this spy has biomassed both his spy character and the unrelated main of the spy, saying that he didn't want to be subject to years of misery by the veterans.

14 comments:

  1. what a crock of shit

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  2. c/10 good shit

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  3. I approve this message. 7o

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  4. bni is total shit honestly

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  5. um were made up of mostly new people so yea. 0 fucks given 7o

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  6. You people seem to have missed the joke entirely.

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  7. I got the humor. Satire and sarcasm all in one post! Golf clap. o7

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  8. Beware of our 30 neuting dragoons. They melt a carrier in under 2 and a half minutes.

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  9. Work on yo satire

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  10. I may have baited a little bit longer and not made it so obvious with the PL and BoB comparison right off the bat, but otherwise this is great.

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  11. This site is working out nicely. Keep up the good work!

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  12. Made me laugh, 10/10 good work :)

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