The voice of the people

Sunday, 2 March 2014

Baki Yuku Steals Black Legion Dread Cache After Being in the Alliance for One Day

Renowned cunt and artisan bullshitter Baki Yuku again found himself a source of controversy today, after it emerged he had stolen 57 dreadnoughts and 14 carriers after being in Hover Inc. for just 28 hours. CEO Wirk Hoover was unable to explain 'who let the shitlord in' or how he was given any form of corporate roles.

Some people would point out it's disturbing that Baki Yuku was let into any corp following his period of failure in Test and Insidious Empire. His corp was admitted into Hand of Despair, Darkness of Despair's renter alliance, as part of a plan by Russian and CFC leaders to 'stop him from accidentally causing a fail cascade in one of their alliances. A Goonswarm Federation diplomat explained the situation.
"It was imperative that we kept Baki a safe distance from us, which we achieved by giving his corp a place in HD in return for him not joining any of our alliances on alts. We were worried that even if we said we'd never give him roles, he'd coax some lower level director into giving him roles by firing a volley of bullshit, like 'hey I need starbase config. roles to set up a POS for my 20 titans.' Unfortunately, he escaped on Saturday. We've got no idea were his alts are now, he could transform any of our alliances to shit with the Baki touch at any moment."
The move took most Black Legion members by surprise. Although they saw his application thread on the forums which was subsequently accepted, most thought it was a highly amusing joke. There was 'outrage and disgust' when he actually joined, with many suiciding frigates into the CFC in protest. Baki delivered a short speech to his alliance, in which he stated he planned to use his 'growing number of titans' against the CFC, despite numerous threats that his titans would be awoxed.

With Black Legion on the verge of dying after suffering Baki Yuku, many are asking whether he could be tamed and used against potential enemies. He has now killed three of the four alliances he has been in, a rate greater than any spy has ever achieved. It seems few people are unwilling to approach Baki in case their capital caches disappear or their titans get aborted.

Baki Yuku kindly agreed to speak with me regarding these claims.
"Look I did it for a good reason. I recently bought 86 dreadnought pilots to compliment my 19 titans and 33 supercaps, but I didn't have the dreadnoughts to fly them. I had to borrow some BL dreads because I lost the Test cache, I don't know where it went. I promise I won't do the same thing to the next alliance that accepts me."
People are debating whether Hoover Inc. will be Baki Yuku's last corp. With all alliances in the CFC, Rus and N3 now blacklisting him he may have no choice but to use an alt to steal more capitals. We could see a rare display of coordination across nullsec as all major coalitions attempt to thwart the cache-stealing menace that is Baki Yuku.

No comments:

Post a Comment